Dear friends and family
We will say farewell to Evelyn in the crematorium Westlede, next Thursday 27th of August at 13h30. Address is Smalle Heerweg 60, 9080 Lochristi.
Karen en Elke, I can not find words for you my dear sisters, only a million kisses. Dear friends and family, the tsunami of support and consolation we received was dazzling, please also join Bastian, me and our families next Thursday.
Friday, 21 August 2009
Wednesday, 19 August 2009
Final day
6 Am phone call, we have to say goodbye. At 8 AM Evelyn will slowly give up the fight. Bastian and myself have lost the best mother, the perfect partner, a coach for life, a manager in how to live a happy life but above all, our base and stability. I tell her a thousand times I love her before she leaves, anyway she knew that already.
Whereever you are my love, I wish I can kiss you and dream again.
I have this afternoon the hardest conversation in my life with my 5 year old son, who got stabbed in his innocent heart.
In the evening Evelyn´s parents and sisters arrive, they got hit by the news in the arrival hall at the airport.
Friends and family, this is my last post except for the one on the funeral I will publish soon. I was not able to read your reactions so far, but I am sure they will help me to get out of the black hole that is coming as a tsunami in my direction. Thanks for the amazing support and love. I want to tell you on Evelyn´s will on the funeral and to all who want to hear about it. Thanks
Whereever you are my love, I wish I can kiss you and dream again.
I have this afternoon the hardest conversation in my life with my 5 year old son, who got stabbed in his innocent heart.
In the evening Evelyn´s parents and sisters arrive, they got hit by the news in the arrival hall at the airport.
Friends and family, this is my last post except for the one on the funeral I will publish soon. I was not able to read your reactions so far, but I am sure they will help me to get out of the black hole that is coming as a tsunami in my direction. Thanks for the amazing support and love. I want to tell you on Evelyn´s will on the funeral and to all who want to hear about it. Thanks
3rd day evening
In the evening, everything goes wrong. Results of the brain scan show no sign of life. On top of that, vital functions start to worsen again, we prepare for the worst.
Tuesday, 18 August 2009
3rd day - afternoon
4 PM: got some more support from guys as Ronny. Evelyn stays stable what is good and bad news. More time to recuperate, on the other side she doesn't do it: she stays stable zithout getting better and after one day and a half stable that is not good news. Also, Evelyn will loose her right leg, due to heavy medication and continuous mechanical pumping of her blood in that spot. She can live with only one leg, as long as her heart moves we can talk to her and give her support. Amor, amor porfavor acepta toda mi fuerza para soportar a tu corazon, siempre me has soportado, ahora acepta que te paso fuerza para nosotros.
The night should be calm. Please, friends and family, pray that Evelyn's heart gets the resistance to take over again. It has to happen now.
The night should be calm. Please, friends and family, pray that Evelyn's heart gets the resistance to take over again. It has to happen now.
Monday, 17 August 2009
Day 3: wake up
Evelyn stayed stable through the night, the medication has not changed. Everything quite, I hope it will stay quite. We are now Tuesday morning, I can call this day 3 and stop counting hours. My love, another night without you by my side, but that is nothing if we can catch it up later. Please fight another day.
Monday evening
10 PM Just back from the hospital, she made some progress, but little. There is a complication in her leg, that might require a serious operation, but no certainty so far. The most important, she stays stable, and keeps getting better very slowly. Indeed there is hope that it might be a quite night. Countdown to 48 hours of stable life and quite some progress.
Monday morning
Monday moring, 5 AM. She made it through the night! She made it for over 24 hours, a lot people wouldn't have expected. But she did, she is a fighter. Elke calls intensive care, they have been reducing medication but have noticed an infection int he wound. She will be operated in the room to remove the bandage that she carries inside to stop the bleeding, That was planned for within 2 or 3 days, but they will have to do it today. And know what, she takes it again. At 11Am we go to subscrive Bastian in his new school and when there my sister calls, she stayed stable and more even, they found reaction that her brain is working. A great relief, again she proved wrong the doctors who told us that brain damage or inactivity was very likely. Another point of hope, my wife can make it.
We have one more visit at 8 PM, and counting the time again. But this time she will go into the night without too many risks, she is going to stay at least stable.
We have one more visit at 8 PM, and counting the time again. But this time she will go into the night without too many risks, she is going to stay at least stable.
Sunday
I wake up at 6 AM, I don't know how I could have been away for 2 hours but my sister hasn't called me, Evelyn is still there.
I go back to see them, she is stable but extremely critical. We see the gynaecologist at 9 Am, he tells us several things, but no hope is there, not one positive note. We picture only nightmares and nobody can really help us, nobody can give advice. I call Evelyn's family in Chile, my mother. There is nothing to do but counting minutes and waiting for a dead-call. Stefaan joins me to walk around. Again, my sisters carry me further.
And then, at 8 PM we go to intensive care, and they tell us that Evelyn is stable, all her vital functions are taken by machines, by she IS recovering a little. The best scenario for the day. She will make it through this day. My God, my love, you have to fight, you are everything for Bastian and for me. Everything. Keep fighting, please keep fighting.
There is hardly any sleep.
I go back to see them, she is stable but extremely critical. We see the gynaecologist at 9 Am, he tells us several things, but no hope is there, not one positive note. We picture only nightmares and nobody can really help us, nobody can give advice. I call Evelyn's family in Chile, my mother. There is nothing to do but counting minutes and waiting for a dead-call. Stefaan joins me to walk around. Again, my sisters carry me further.
And then, at 8 PM we go to intensive care, and they tell us that Evelyn is stable, all her vital functions are taken by machines, by she IS recovering a little. The best scenario for the day. She will make it through this day. My God, my love, you have to fight, you are everything for Bastian and for me. Everything. Keep fighting, please keep fighting.
There is hardly any sleep.
Minutes
She arrives in the new hopsital at 3am on Sundau morning. We arrive a little earlier and can see through a window how she is carried out of the emergency car. It looks like they move her without urgency, it gives hope but we hear later that this was her worst moment and death was closer then life.
Every minute we count and together with my oldest sister we cry and call Evelyn a million times telling her she can do this, somehow this gives hope. Once she is installed we can still watch her, the doctors have no hope, and tell me nothing positive. "Between black and white, she is on the black side"
I leave the hospital at 4am to go to Stefaan, one of my best friends living at 500 m from the hospital. My sister stays with Ben, her partner in the hospital in the waiting room. My God, with this kind of support, from friends, and especially from my 2 sisters, Evelyn has to leave out of this.
Every minute we count and together with my oldest sister we cry and call Evelyn a million times telling her she can do this, somehow this gives hope. Once she is installed we can still watch her, the doctors have no hope, and tell me nothing positive. "Between black and white, she is on the black side"
I leave the hospital at 4am to go to Stefaan, one of my best friends living at 500 m from the hospital. My sister stays with Ben, her partner in the hospital in the waiting room. My God, with this kind of support, from friends, and especially from my 2 sisters, Evelyn has to leave out of this.
5 PM, Saturday. The gynaecologist comes in and tells me bad news. Our son is dead. The mother is critical. The placenta had made her womb burst, the baby died almost instantly. Evelyn had to be reanimmated.
7 PM: she has to go in again, new bleedings. Elke, my youngest sister tells me that could be expected. The womb is now completely removed. The doctor calls her stable at 9 PM when they come out.
11 PM: new operation because of more bleedings. At 1.30 AM on Sunday, the nurse tells us they are finshing the operation. At 2.30 Am the doctor comes out. She will be moved to another hospital . Her situation is now extremely critical. he calls her stable for the moment
7 PM: she has to go in again, new bleedings. Elke, my youngest sister tells me that could be expected. The womb is now completely removed. The doctor calls her stable at 9 PM when they come out.
11 PM: new operation because of more bleedings. At 1.30 AM on Sunday, the nurse tells us they are finshing the operation. At 2.30 Am the doctor comes out. She will be moved to another hospital . Her situation is now extremely critical. he calls her stable for the moment
Nightmare
Friday evening the situation became worse, pain in the belly, right side, in the back. Pain all the time, but slowly the initial contractions went away. Doctors had no idea what it was, an echo was done but nothing found, Apendicitis, kidney stones ...? We she got a lot of pain killers at 10 she finally became a little bit more easy, and almost fell asleep. I left her my mobile phone, switched off the light and went home at about 23:30.
At 4 AM she called me and only could tell me "Pain, pain, pain". I rushed back to her to find her in a much worse situation with more pain. After comlaining the nurse gave her more pain killers and we could rest a little more. Then a 9 AM the gynaecologist came to see her, and told us it were sure kidney stones. So the urologist had to come to see her. This girl didn't move for a long time untill I had her called for the 4th time, a real disappointment. Another echo, no results. During the echo, a surgeon came to see her and they all left to deliberate. Then it went very bad with Evelyn. At 2 PM she was in a huge pain. At 3PM they decided to take her into the operation theatre and I could go with her till the doors of the operation room, ... a final kiss.
At 4 AM she called me and only could tell me "Pain, pain, pain". I rushed back to her to find her in a much worse situation with more pain. After comlaining the nurse gave her more pain killers and we could rest a little more. Then a 9 AM the gynaecologist came to see her, and told us it were sure kidney stones. So the urologist had to come to see her. This girl didn't move for a long time untill I had her called for the 4th time, a real disappointment. Another echo, no results. During the echo, a surgeon came to see her and they all left to deliberate. Then it went very bad with Evelyn. At 2 PM she was in a huge pain. At 3PM they decided to take her into the operation theatre and I could go with her till the doors of the operation room, ... a final kiss.
before it started
On Thursday, Evelyn and I had a great evening dinner in Gent, she enjoyed the best spare ribs of Gent, I did the same with the wine. Afterwards we found out we didn't have the key of the appartment, great to have another coffee on a terrace. What a perfect and enjoyable live this was.
Friday we went shopping at noon for the weekend with Ronny, Fil, Jo in the south of Belgium. She helped me carry stuff , put it in the car. Little bit of stress, no real worries.
It all started at 3 o'clock in the afternoon with very severe bell pain. She had to lie down in the office. 10 minutes later we carried her to the car and towards Gent. As the pain was serious I made a first stop at the UZ, where they checked her and found out that the baby was not going to beborn soon. So back into the car to the AZ.
Friday we went shopping at noon for the weekend with Ronny, Fil, Jo in the south of Belgium. She helped me carry stuff , put it in the car. Little bit of stress, no real worries.
It all started at 3 o'clock in the afternoon with very severe bell pain. She had to lie down in the office. 10 minutes later we carried her to the car and towards Gent. As the pain was serious I made a first stop at the UZ, where they checked her and found out that the baby was not going to beborn soon. So back into the car to the AZ.
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